Imagination is more important than Knowledge
February 22, 2024
Your wish is my command
February 29, 2024
(Scroll to the very bottom to watch the video)
Ever heard the phrase, “Your emotion is your energy in motion”? That’s something I took to heart, especially after realizing how drama-filled TV shows, intense music, and constantly negative news (yep, CNN stands for Constant Negative News in my book) were impacting my mood and relationships. I used to be a big fan of shows like “The Real Housewives,” particularly NeNe from Atlanta. But I noticed these shows didn’t just entertain me; they stirred up emotions and led to arguments at home, especially with my mom. Our disagreements escalated, especially after I had a stroke that affected the left side of my brain, making me more emotional.
There were times I had to call the police during arguments with my mom. Whenever they showed up, the situation would calm down, almost like flipping a switch. It was clear that arguing only added fuel to the fire, transforming me into someone I didn’t recognize – I felt like the Hulk, out of control and far from the person who never raised his voice at his mom before the stroke.
The situation reached a point where my mom and I would end arguments by stubbornly going our separate ways, declaring, “You do it your way, and I’ll do it my way.” I realized the importance of cooling down and asked my caretakers to give me space for five minutes whenever I felt rage taking over. This brief timeout helped me regain my composure.
Ruben, my caretaker for several years, has been like a little brother to me. His consistent support has been invaluable, not just for my daily care but also for helping me complete my book. I’ve learned a lot over the years, including how to avoid arguments with my mom. I swapped out drama for the Food Network, which surprisingly helped tame my temper. And when tensions did rise with Ruben, I came up with a unique solution: our safe word, “Peanut Butter.” It might sound odd, but peanut butter makes me happy, and using this word helped trick my brain into calming down. Ruben was skeptical at first, but it worked wonders for preventing outbursts by respecting each other’s boundaries.
This whole experience, particularly my mom’s words, “You do it your way, and I do it my way,” inspired me to think differently about handling anger and disagreements. A safe word can be a simple yet effective tool for anyone to defuse tension and avoid “explosive episodes” with their loved ones. It’s about finding that quirky, personal trick that shifts your mood and perspective, making peace and understanding more attainable. So, if you ever find yourself in a heated moment, remember the power of a safe word – it might just be the pause button you need to find your way back to calmness.
Tell me in the comments below, what your safe word is?
