Crabs in a Bucket

Over this past weekend, I recorded a short screen capture of my book event party. I texted this screen capture along with a brief message. Originally, the message said I was going to host it on Saturday, December 16th, 2023. But my good friends Linda and Markus were leaving on the 14th for Hawaii until the end of the year. They are like my older brother and sister; additionally, Linda was the very first person to congratulate me on the book, then follow Markus. I love these guys like my siblings, and they always show me their love and support. My boys, Randy Chan, Nguyen Ly, and Tim Palmer, along with Linda and Markus, are considered my day ones. Randy is in Texas, and Tim is busy with his young kids. Ruben, my caretaker, called the day ones people who are there for you through thick and thin.

That’s why I’d decided to reschedule my invitation to the 10th of December. I would rather have my loved ones there at the book event party to celebrate my success. The other person who congratulated me in my book launch success is Angel. She said, “Congratulations, and I can’t wait to read your book!” Her and her boyfriend Doyin are stationed in Japan with the Navy. Angel was the one who saved me from the stroke.

Her response made me so happy! Unlike the other texts or calls from people that I considered to be close to me. They celebrated me when I went down with the stroke several years ago. Maybe they are tired of supporting me because they haven’t heard from me in years or they face their own internal struggles, or they are busy. I simply don’t know. A simple congrats is a nice gesture that doesn’t required more than several seconds of their time. Instead, I didn’t get any response or congratulatory remarks or avoidance from them. We are mentioning close friends and family. They are not consistent in their support. And, I’m sorry if I wasn’t there for you because this stroke render me immobile.

They may glorify you in your downfall, but are they really happy to see you when you succeed? This reminds me of a time when I was playing high school football and my parents never showed up to see any of my games. This can get you emotional. You may feel sad, disappointed, and cry when you think about the people who you think are close to you but who are really not. They may be jealous or envious of your success. They don’t show up when you need them most. I called them crabs in a bucket. I told my caretaker, Ruben, that the right people would show up and be in your life when it matter most. So don’t be worried, because I’m not alarm. When you reach a certain mountain top, you will meet new acquaintances who will propel you to climb even further. You’ll reach a new level of success as the people who stayed at the bottom will remain where they belong. They want to pull you back down, so you and they can feel comfortable. They are afraid of your success.

Take their no’s or non-responses as bricks, because when you succeed, you’ll be living comfortably in your castle. Those who want to gloat in your success will be there too late. They can’t penetrate those stones in your castle. You want to cherish those who cherish you. Love those who are there for you through thick and thin. Those who is really supportive of seeing you win or lose. They are your true friends and family, not those crabs in a bucket.