Common Courtesy

Every morning around 7:30 a.m., Ruben checks my urinal. On a chilly winter day, I ask him to switch my heavy white blanket for a cozier grey one. I tell him he doesn’t have to flush the toilet because he sometimes forgets. Unfortunately, the familiar sound of a running toilet disrupts the routine, a problem that has been happening for the two years Ruben has been helping me.

After two years, you’d think things would get smoother, but it feels the opposite. Frustrated, I talk to my mom about the increasing mistakes. I believed this trend continued because of his weedy habits. During Netflix’s movie, I realized my urinal was missing. I call my mom twice, and she asks, “Why didn’t you ask Ruben?” I admit I was probably too sleepy and forgot to double-check.

When I finally talk to Ruben about the missing urinal and the always-running toilet, he says it’s just common courtesy. But I can’t help but wonder if courtesy means anything if it comes with mistakes. Is courtesy really common, or is it just something people talk about?

I share my worries with Ruben, telling him that, while I like his courtesy, mistakes are not polite. I question the so-called “common courtesy” he talks about. Ruben senses my frustration and uses our safe word, “peanut butter,” to navigate our conversation. To calm down, I close my eyes and meditate, trying to find peace in the midst of Ruben’s mistakes. It becomes necessary to keep my own peace amidst the interruptions.

After two years, I expected fewer mistakes, but it seems like they’re increasing. I worry about Ruben’s future abilities. In an honest talk, I tell him my condition won’t last forever. Ruben, maybe reassured by his dreams, says he sees himself as a boss someday.

I hold onto that hope, but I also wish for him to be more organized and improve his skills. I wonder if it’s wrong not to appreciate his courtesy when it comes with errors. The question lingers in my mind, making me think about the balance between being polite and being good at what you do. I hope for Ruben’s growth, for his sake and for a routine that works well. The journey continues, uncertain every morning, with the question lingering: Is being polite enough, or should it always come with doing things right?